Given a crumb when you give the whole cake ( part 2)

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       I’ve never seen a more devastating look on Jasmine’s face before. I was even upset and it had nothing to do with me. I felt like I was in a movie but also like I was watching a train wreck happen. There was an awkward vibe in the air. For a quick second no words were being said from anybody, just stares.

” Why the f**k is she here”? Jasmine yells at Ricky. Ricky had the most dumbfounded look on his face. He had no words for her question. Just as Ricky decides to finally answer the question, Tammy chimes in and informs Jasmine that Ricky called her and that’s why she came. Jasmine spazzed out.  I had to take her out of the room and talk to her because she was causing a scene. So we went outside and talked. When she calmed back down we came back inside. Jasmine breaks up officially with Ricky and we end up leaving the hospital.

A month and a half go by and Jasmine is still hurt over the situation. One day on my day off I decide to go visit her. She’s seeming a lot better. I’m so glad she’s in a much better space in her life. I start to notice her phone vibrating every few minutes and her smiling. ” Umm, Who got you so giggly”? I asked her. She explains to me that her and Ricky have worked things out and that their back together. Frustrated and disappointed, I still support her and I congratulate her. She asks if I can take her to go see him. So I took her.

On the way to Ricky’s house, we get stuck in six o’clock traffic. He calls Jasmine’s phone to see where she is. She lies and tells him that I got pulled over for speeding. ( the look on my face when she said that).  When she hangs up I asked her why did she not just tell him we were stuck in traffic. She replies that she didn’t want him mad at her.  Later on he calls again. He asks where we are. She finally says we’re in traffic. He replies to her that if she would have left when he told her to she would not be in traffic. ” well don’t get mad at me, Sierra is the one driving, not me”.  I got so heated. Not for the fact that she blamed it on me, but for the fact that she was making excuses so he wouldn’t be upset.  He tells Jasmine that I need to speed to him.  I kindly grab the phone and say ” umm you can wait, she’s not in a rush to see you and I’m not getting a speeding ticket for you”.  I pass the phone back to Jasmine and then they finish their conversation and she hangs up.

I start to have a lot of thoughts going through my head about this whole situation. I finally decide to tell Jasmine how I feel about Ricky and how she’s making excuses and bending over backwards for him and he does not put forth the same effort and energy as she does.  She gets defensive and says that nobody really knows what goes on in their relationship but her and Ricky. True statement so I leave the conversation alone.

We arrive at his house.  I sit in the car while she goes talk to Ricky. I’m just texting on my phone and every once and awhile I would look up to make sure she’s okay. I glanced up and saw she was making arm movements like she was arguing with him.  ( none of my business).  After awhile she gets back in the car bursting into tears. We sit and talk for a while. I asked her what’s wrong. She informs me that Ricky told her that she’s on her ” last strike”. ” She asked him what does that mean, he said ” you know in baseball when you have three strikes then you’re out”. Shocked from hearing those words, I just could not take it anymore.  I just told her how I felt about this whether it meant us no longer being friends. I just had to tell her.

” Why do you give so much to someone who does little for you and clearly doesn’t respect you?  You keep thinking he’s going to change but he isn’t because he knows he has you where he wants you.” She replies that she loves him and wants to make it work. He knows you will forgive him if he cheats. He knows you will give him money whenever he asks even though he has a job. He knows he can mess up and you will always be right there with open arms willing to take him back.  You’re giving him a whole cake when you receive nothing but  crumbs back in return. You have to show people how to treat you. You’ve showed him alright how to treat you and he knows this. You have to know your worth in order for someone else to see it.

   UPDATE:  Jasmine is still with Ricky. She still calls me complaining and crying about how he is cheating on her and she keeps talking to him hoping he will change. He has since then given her a STD twice and still disrespects her. ( In case you’re wondering I just sit on the phone now listening to her vent rather than give her advice) .

 

 

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