Everyone in life has standards ( or at least you should). Standards are a great thing to have because it shows that you’re not willing to settle for anything less than what you want or looking for. But some people especially women, turn standards into a requirement when looking for a man. What is the difference between standards and requirements? Standards particularly with dating,is a quality that you’re looking for or want in someone but if that person doesn’t have a few of your standards, its okay because nobody is perfect and you’re not going to get everything you want in a person. Requirements are a quality that a person must absolutely possess, otherwise you’re not even entertaining the thought of giving them you’re time.
Today there are so many women that hold requirements than standards when looking for a man. They want a man that is already a finished project. They don’t want to be the one to have to build him up. This to me is so crazy. While I do believe there are some things women shouldn’t do because let’s be real, you’re not his mother and he’s not a child. I do believe there are some things you should be patient on in a man and help him reach that potential.
I”m not telling you to bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan (doing everything). But do encourage him to make steps and strive to be there for him. I was having this conversation with a friend of mine and she did not believe in this. she said” I’m not building a man up so he can leave me once he gets where he needs to be in life.” This is a stereotype and an opinion of the person you’re with. That’s why it’s important to know who you’re dealing with. Not everyone is going to do that.
A relationship is about growth within each other. Women that want a finished project I say this: You’re weren’t always a finished project but was with someone who probably was. So why is it different now? Many men end up marrying the one that started from the bottom with him and now at the top with him. It’s something so special about being at the bottom with someone and y’all are literally at the top together.
Don’t go looking for a man that stays in the streets and trying to turn him into Mr. Perfect. That’s just not going to happen. Everyone has issues that need to be fixed. If we could fix ourselves, we would not need each other. You have to have deal breakers such as cheating, lying, bad-tempered, etc. Those are things the man himself must fix and want to fix within himself.
He has a hard time opening up to you? be patient and work on being more inviting to his feelings. He’s not listening to you talk all day? Express that to him in a respectful way while also understanding that men and women are different. He’s not one of your girlfriends. Just so you know, there’s no such thing as a “finished project”. We’re always growing. I’m not the same person as I was ten years ago and neither are you. What I want you to take away from this is that nobody is perfect. You’re not either if you’re a woman looking for a finished project. There are just some things that really are an unacceptable trait in someone when dating, but make a little wiggle room for the ones that can be fixed and to not get involved with someone that has an issue that cannot positively be fixed. Remember, someone was once patient with you in life as well. The one you shut down you might see a year or two from now in a great place in life married with a family. Now you’re salty at home because you wanted him…Well duh you turned him down remember? His wife was patient enough with him and realized that she needed to be his backbone in times of need. He helped build her up as well. But they both individually built themselves up in their own way. What one lacked, the other made up for. So don’t be so quick to brush off or shut down a work in progress. Remember, someone was once patient in life with you.