Advice: The Other Woman Is On The Prowl For My Man

Relationships-1024x684I just had to do a post on this email that I received. This is just sad and ridiculous.  Let’s get into it.

So as I just said, I received an email yesterday from a young woman.  To basically sum this up here it goes: The writer of the email is 24 years old and has been with her boyfriend for six years. They have two kids together. Her boyfriend is a felon and a high school drop out.  Now, she still loves him even though he is broke ( her words).  She stated that he did not have to pay any bills. That she would take care of him (looks away) Not me. *You’re a grown a** man.  So she basically takes care of this man boy.

She later on ended up finding out that her boyfriend cheated on her. She forgave him and took him back.  Everything was going okay but then months later she found out that he just got another woman pregnant.  Her boyfriend explained to her that he did not want this child he had with this other woman.  She then tells her boyfriend that she will no longer take care of him if he continues to be in this child’s life and that the child is not allowed at her house. One day her boyfriend wanted to go visit the child and then the writer of the email became upset at that.  So the writer of the email confronts the other woman and says she does not believe that her boyfriend is the father of the other woman’s child. She said she will not have her boyfriend taking care of another woman’s child.  She says she takes care of her children on her own so why can’t this other woman do the same?  She feels like she is better than the other woman because she does not depend on another man.

Her =boyfriend ended up going to prison soon after this. He promised her that he would leave the child and his “baby mama” alone.  The writer got pregnant right after he got out of jail.

She then later on finds out that he’s still talking to this other woman plus more women. He tells her not to worry about it. That it’s just small talk. She sticks by him because she wants her family together.  Her boyfriend tells her that he would be done messing with the baby mama and the child for good. He goes over to talk to his baby mama about it. He comes back home. The writer asks her boyfriend if it went smoothly. He says no. He’s going to be in the child’s life. The writer became upset because she did not want her boyfriend taking care of “his child” that he had with another woman.

She then become so upset she decided to confront this woman. She tells this woman that her boyfriend actually has money but just isn’t giving it to her because he chooses not to. She also tells the other woman that he does not care about the other woman’s child, only hers. She basically made it clear to the woman that he isn’t interested in her or her child she has with her boyfriend. She wanted this woman to hurt so she could stay out of her boyfriend and her life.

Later in her pregnancy the writer finds out that her boyfriend is still sleeping with his baby mama.  She confronts her boyfriend about. He denies it. Tells her that his baby mama is crazy.  The writer still loves him and still plans on being with her boyfriend.  She wants him to change for the good.  She takes care of him, gives him money,  she buys him cars he likes, pays all the bills, and helps him not pay child support.  She is frustrated because the baby mama and other women cannot leave her man alone.


     I’m just going to be straight blunt about this. How selfish, stupid, and gullible can you be?  First off, your first mistake was taking care of a BOY. You already have three kids with him, why have a fourth one for your relationship? He’s a grown ass man. He should be helping you. Second, he cheated on you and you took him back ( that’s your choice). But he got the other woman pregnant and you don’t want him to be apart of this child’s life??? That’s selfish and not in a good way. Lastly, You’re so gullible to hang on to his every word that he tells you. “she’s crazy”??? That’s the oldest cop-out in the book. He told you that to throw you off. You’re 25 but from the email I couldn’t tell.  But then maturity does not come with age. Honey, love yourself enough to walk away from this situation. It’s clear he knows he can run game on you and you will believe it. Which is why he chooses to stay with you.  He knows you will take care of him no matter what. Those other women I can almost guarantee are not gullible and he can’t run game on them. If he could, he would not be with you. But as long as he does not have to work, you’re giving him money, buying cars for him, of course he isn’t going anywhere. Who would? 

   You really come across like you have low self esteem. You can find someone else better than him. You confronted his baby mama about him in hopes that she would leave your boyfriend alone. Honey, that is the mother of his child!!! Get use to this woman and her child being in you and your children’s life. You would not want your boyfriend to leave you and your children, so don’t do it to her,  That’s just selfish to not want your boyfriend to be there for his child, but you want him to be there for the children you have with him. Please grow up. If this woman seems to always communicate with your boyfriend, it’s because your boyfriend is communicating back. It takes two to have a conversation.  Do not put the blame solely on the baby mama. You’re protecting someone who has did the damage to you. He will continue to cheat on you if you do not wake up and realize that he is only telling you lies to keep you near. He does not want to lose his lifeline. You do and give everything for him.  I can write a whole book on this but I won’t. Just know that you are creating your own drama and bruising your own heart. Realize when lies are being told to your face over and over. Your boyfriend is the one that’s lying to you. So don’t come for the baby mama. Have some standards for yourself. You don’t though, which is why he will forever keep playing you. You said yourself you’re not leaving him even through all this that you stated.  Take some time and do some self reflecting and self evaluation. A piece of a man is not better than a whole man to yourself.  Remember that. 




2 thoughts on “Advice: The Other Woman Is On The Prowl For My Man

  1. Agree, we women need to wake up and stop settling for a man or boy who we have to take care of. A women is a strong being, but when it comes to relationships and selecting mates for us, we
    seem to miss the the clue. Happy writings..

    Liked by 1 person

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