4th Of July Was LIT!!!!! ( Storytime) Part 1

231-make-cookout-delicious-not-dangerous-wideI am very late on this post,but….another storytime is due. So let’s get into it!

So that Sunday before the 4th, I went home to visit my family and friends. I have not seen them in awhile so I decide to go visit. I get to my family’s house and I’m just settling in like unpacking and stuff. My dad informs me that he’s grilling out so I’m super excited. ( I love my dad’s cooking).

Fast forward to 4th of July >>>>>>>>>>. I woke up that day like around 7 am ( which is not me) . I love my dad but I hate for him to have the day off because he loves to cook. He will cook breakfast at like 6 or 7 am and then wants everyone to get up to eat. ( Not me). I’ll get up and eat the stuff that I don’t want to warm back up like grits or something and I’ll put the rest in the microwave and go back to bed.  But that day I made an exception. I ate breakfast with my family and stayed up.

Later on in the day before the cookout my friends and I were making plans for the night of the 4th. So you know I’m in. So by then I had my whole 4th planned out.

The cookout starts and everyone is arriving. Someone who I did not expect to show up, shows up….My grandma. I will explain why. My grandma ( my dad’s mom) does not like my mom and my mom does not like my grandma. I don’t know why, but they just don’t like each other. My grandma comes in and hugs me and everyone else in the room and then just looks at my mom and says ” hey”.  *so rude*. So it’s time to bless the food. My mom starts praying. In the prayer, my mom goes ” Please bless the ones that just came to eat and leave, the devil comes in many forms”. I could hear some people laughing. My grandma has a habit of eating and then leaving to go play the lottery.  During the blessing I’m trying not to laugh. My cousin and my brother are just cracking up beside me trying to hold it in. ( I can’t stand being beside people who want to laugh at an inappropriate moment when it’s disrespectful to laugh because it makes it harder for me not to laugh because I’m trying to keep my composure).

The prayer is over and my grandma is getting ready to fix her plate. My mom made cheesecake for dessert. My grandma looks at my dad and goes ” who made this”? I know your wife didn’t. It looks store brought”. ” Shannon, you sure you didn’t buy this from the store”.  My mom replies ” I made it, but you don’t have to eat it because I know your teeth is sensitive. My grandma just had her tooth pulled a couple weeks ago.

Me and my cousins have already fixed our plate just laughing and watching the shade that is being thrown. My mom and my grandma have this thing I like to call “nicesty”. They were being somewhat cordial but throwing shade.

So My dad goes and by these name brand sodas for the cookout like Pepsi, Dr,. Pepper, etc. My aunt Beatrice bought the knock off kind like Dr. Pibb, etc. My Aunt Beatrice is the one that always complains.  So everyone is reaching for the brand sodas or either the water bottles in the cooler. My aunt Beatrice gets mad ” Nobody wants my sodas huh”? We’re all ignoring her as usual. My other grandma ( my mom’s mom)  even wanted a brand soda. So we’re all eating and then my dad’s mom leaves.  She said she had to go pick up a friend from the airport. My aunt sent me to the store to get her something for her head. Tell me why do I see my grandma ( my dad’s mom) playing the lottery. This was long after she said she had to go pick someone up. i look at her and say ” I thought you had to go pick someone up”? she said ” shhh you didn’t see grandma doing nothing”. I said okay and I kept it moving in the store. She already knew I saw her.

I get back and my Aunt Beatrice is still complaining about nobody drinking her sodas that she brought to the cookout. So when the cookout was over, everyone tried to get the off brand sodas then. My aunt Beatrice was not having that. She got all her sodas and put them in a bag and took them home with her…So salty. She didn’t even drink her own sodas she brought to the cookout. There’s a knock at the door. I open the door and in walks…………

 

 

 

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