StoryTime: Being My Own Person

602ae43e-077c-4a54-9616-f5c52d29333c_hSo let’s get into it…..

This is more a past/ still current story time. So growing up all the way through grade school I had strict patents. Not very strict, but they meant what they said.  Like I had to come home and do my chores and homework. I wasn’t really allowed to hang out with my friends outside of school even in high school ( unless they met my friends).

By the time I got to high school, my parents new concern was making sure that I graduate and that I don’t end up pregnant or anything. That drove me so crazy, but I totally see why they were hard on me back then and for that I truly thank them. My virginity got broke in high school, my junior year in high school. My parents eventually found out( that’s another story time). I learned my lesson from that and put that situation behind me.

When I got to college it was still the same concern but they let up a little bit on me. I had a little bit more freedom. I was at my ex (Tevin) house all the time between classes but sometimes my mom would call to see where I was. She would cause this big scene if I was at his house alone. I’ve always had a mind of my own and I don’t think she thought that. I use to hang out with one of my friends, Destiny and her friend Makayla. My mom would always be like ” If you hang out with them, you’re going to end up pregnant soon because all they care about are guys”. Once again, I had my own mind. I don’t have to do what they do.  Actually, Destiny told me that Makayla said I would be the first one pregnant because I’m always over at Tevin’s house. ( Both of them ended up pregnant with Makayla being first).

I’ve always had a mind of my own. I don’t really believe in the saying ” birds of a feather flock together”. What other people do around me does not affect me in any way. I’m too strong mentally to do what others do that I don’t agree with or that I know is wrong. Now, of course in between classes when I was over at Tevin’s house sometimes we would have sex, but I was always smart about it. I always made him use a condom even though sometimes things happen. I was going to protect myself.

Now that I am out of college and grown, my mom is now pressuring me to have a child. I’m 25. I still have time and I’m not married yet. I want to be married before that happens.  But even right now, I don’t really want to be married right now. I just feel like you should be your own person before you commit to someone else. There’s so many other things I want to do before I get married and have a family.

I just think it’s funny how my family did not trust the fact t wouldn’t end up pregnant  based off the people who I associated with and now they’re like ” when are you having a baby”? My mind was never on getting pregnant ever or being “fast” as they call it. I’ve always had a strong mind but my family didn’t trust that. I don’t care how much a guy “loves” me, until I’m married,it’s going to be a condom.

My boyfriend has proposed to me in the past but I rejected it. Not because I didn’t love him, but because there’s still things I want to be able to do before I become committed to him.  I have to get the partying out of my system. I love my freedom. I’m at a stage right now in my life where I’m not thinking about being married or a baby. I’m focusing on my goals first.  It sometimes gets to me when I see my friends getting married or having babues around me but I know that what I want is greater than what I’m feeling. Always know the difference in any situation.


One thought on “StoryTime: Being My Own Person

  1. I recenlty was contemplating suicide. I have been going through a tough time with my family and my mom wont let me do anything. your blogs really help me laugh and get thru my times. I love you


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